The Lost Art That Made People Fall in Love

by Hangtong Lim, second-year undergraduate computer science major - November 25, 2025

“My dear Peggy,
If you think of me half so often as I do of you, it will be every hour.
For you are never out of my thoughts.”

“Dear William,
For me, I am sure no love shall ever touch my heart but yours.”

In an era dominated by instant messaging and email threads, the once cherished practice of handwriting letters has been demolished into nostalgia, often labeled as a “lost art.” What began as a means of long-distance connection, pouring thoughts onto paper with ink, has been largely replaced by the speed and convenience of digital technology.

Amid this shift, The Complete Letter Writer: Containing Familiar Letters on the Most Common Occasions in Life, published in 1797, is a historical gem that opens a fascinating window into the art of eloquent, purposeful communication from an era when writing letters was an important social skill. This anonymous guidebook, preserved in Special Collections & Archives, offers model letters for a variety of everyday situations, from romantic proposals and business negotiations to social invitations and beyond. Each letter is crafted with an emphasis on clarity, politeness, and rhetorical grace. One example of this is a letter from a son to his dad, desiring that he may learn to dance.

In the 1750s, writing letters served as the primary mode of long-distance communication in a world without modern technologies like telegraphs or telephones. It acted as an essential ligament, binding society together. This practice was deeply embedded in 18th-century European and colonial American culture, facilitating everything from personal connections to social mobility in a class-conscious era.

As letter writing became more accessible to the middle and working classes; many still lacked formal education in grammar, rhetoric, or polite expression, creating a demand for guidebooks that offered these skills. The Complete Letter Writer placed itself as both a practical tool and a stylish mentor, emphasizing the embellishment of style to make letters more refined and impactful.

At its heart, The Complete Letter Writer is a comprehensive set of letter templates designed to address life’s countless occasions, blending practical writing with artistic flair. This book organizes its content around key categories, including business affairs for professionals, letters of duty for moral or familial responsibility, and lighter notes on amusement of everyday pleasantries. It delves deeply into personal relationships, offering models for love letters that express affection, courtship letters that navigate romantic pursuits, marriage proposals, or simple friendship notes that strengthen bonds.

A few examples of the type of letters illustrated are one from a brother at home to a sister abroad on a visit where he complains of her not writing; Letter from a Brother to a Sister Abroad, Complaining a letter of consolation on the death of a friend; a heartfelt letter written by a gentle woman to her husband, who was condemned to suffer death; or a tender romantic note declaring unspoken feelings. These aren’t mere postcards; they emphasize elegant letters, providing stylistic advice on tone, clarity, and embellishment to prevent mundane writing turning it into something poetic and persuasive. For instance, the guide suggests phrasing a love letter with sincerity to avoid sounding fabricated, drawing from literary influences of the time. The book’s strength lies in its broad reflection of human experiences, covering everything from a simple intimate emotion to societal duties. It also includes advice on grammar, etiquette, and social consideration, ensuring letters stick to decency while allowing personal voice.

In the end, The Complete Letter Writer reminds us that correspondence was once an art form, a dance between sincerity and structure, emotion and etiquette. Each page reflects a time when communication demanded patience, thought, and craftsmanship. What may seem antiquated today was, in truth, a mirror of human connection at its most deliberate. As digital communication continues to accelerate, this book invites reflection on the enduring value of slowing down, of choosing our words with care, and of writing not just to inform, but to express. In rediscovering these letters, we don’t simply look back at history; we glimpse what it means to write and to feel, with intention.

“My dearest Jenny,
What can have put it into your thoughts to be suspicious of me, whose heart and soul you know are truly yours, and whose whole thoughts and wishes are but for you?”

“Madam,
Perhaps you will not be surprised to receive a letter from a person who is unknown to you,
when you reflect how likely so charming a face may be to create impertinence.”